The Freditor's Big Bicycle Adventure

I was in shock when I learned Lance Armstrong was younger than me. I thought he was 50.

For Christmas 2006, my friend Paul got me a bicycle for fun and neighborhood transport. I had inherited a bike from an old school friend named Kelly. Kelly moved upstate and with a new baby had no use for a bicycle. But hers was purple and while I have no problem riding a girl's mountain bike, Paul felt it wasn't right.

I love my relatively new bike. It's blue and can take a beating from both the road and my 275-pound frame. I usually ride it to the gym or church and maybe go for a little tour afterwards. I'll get in a mood where I'll ride it 6 times in a two-week period and then not touch it for a month. Ever since I was a kid I've been that way about my bikes. Like any toy you get bored with it for a while and then rediscover it later. But adults generally don't look at bikes as toys, they look at them as exercise machines or transportation or competitive instruments. It's like the gym. I belonged to three gyms in my adult life dating back to college and always looked at them as workout facilities. Workout, work, ugghh. It wasn't until I joined my latest one that something dawned on me.

I'd get set to go and kiss Barb goodbye and she'd say, "have fun." At first I was thrown by this statement. "Have fun?" this isn't fun this is working out, trying to stay healthy and alive. And then I realized it is fun, or it should be fun. Much of the stuff you do at the gym, you would do for fun as a kid. What were you two favorite subjects in school: lunch and gym. We spent the better part of our first 12 years of life running and riding bikes and listening to music, all stuff you do at the gym. So then I changed my whole outlook on the gym. I'd stop setting weight goals and running goals and calorie goals, and just go, do my workout and have fun doing it. I love watching kids run, I love watching my cats run. They run for no good reason except the other guy is doing it and it seems like the thing to do. Aimless constant activity keeps kids strong and slim and vibrant. Adults should follow their lead more. Not running for a bus, that causes a heart attack, but just running to the supermarket, because it's good exercise and you'll save time and feel better.

As for the bike. I realized I didn't need to ride 50 or 100 miles to prove something to myself. I didn't need to get in races or train for some "-athon." People who train for -athons might be very healthy on the inside, but never look too good on the outside. I was in shock when I learned Lance Armstrong was younger than me. I thought he was 50. No, I would ride wherever I wanted to go and get there at a decent speed, but enjoy the ride as well.

On Memorial Day I rode around the backstreets of Glendale, streets I had never been down and went at about 10 MPH, a speed I could never walk and one I would rarely drive at. I finally had a convertible without a windshield so all the air of life was rushing into my face. I could breathe in cigar smoke from the old man reading his paper on his stoop or savor the BBQs grilling their various meats. I saw people I had never noticed before enjoying their homes and backyards. I was able to soak in this life around me because there were no cars to distract me. One of my all-time sleeping dreams is to fly under my own power. A dream I've come back to over the years. When the conditions are right, the closest I've come to this sensation is while riding my bike.

Well today I had my Biggest Adventure yet. The most I have ever ridden is about 8 miles. I Mapquested the route after going out with my friend Moux one Sunday morning. We got as far as Metropolitan Avenue and Forest Park Drive in a town called Kew Gardens. I don't have a speedometer or odometer, because I don't want to be sucked into the numbers game. I just want to enjoy the ride. But it is kind of cool to know where you stand in terms of conditioning. For 4 years I've put 7 miles on a stationary bike at the gym in 20 minutes. What does that equal in real biking?

So I decided to test myself, but add a little fun to the proceedings. About two months ago I said to myself, how far is the Fresh Meadows movie theatre? I go there 10 times a year and for years it was my favorite theatre. It takes me about 20 minuets to get there by car with no traffic. So I Mapquested it by streets, no highways. 7.3 miles door to door. That's via either Union Turnpike or Jewel Avenue. You would take Union from Myrtle to 188th Street and head north to the Long Island Expressway. Jewel was just as direct, but more safe and a nicer ride. Union has no trees, no shade, plenty of traffic, some hairy sections and lots of exhaust. Jewel is correctly named. A scenic route that is covered with trees, has little traffic much of the time, is mostly all residential, lots of shade and even has a bike path for a good section of it. There is only one hairy moment. You have to cross this overpass that encompasses both the Van Wyck Expressway and Grand Central Parkway, with entrance and exit ramps for both.

I thought about it for a while, especially during my work day. Could I go 7.3 miles twice in one day with a two-hour break in between to see a movie? Would there be a safe place to leave my bike? What kind of supplies would I need? I'd psych myself up and then talk myself out of it. One day on my scheduled day off I decided to do it, but a friend called to see a movie and I went with him instead. But I thought about it again Friday and checked the weather. Coolish, 80 degrees Sunday, little humidity, some cloud cover and a chance of showers after 2PM. The movie was an early bird special, starting at 10 AM, $6.00. I called a friend named Ernie who loved to bike and he told me I'd need no more than an hour for the trip. So Sunday would be the day.

Barb was out at the beach this Sunday morning, so I woke myself at 7:15. I showered, shaved and headed aroudn the block to Jesus' Coffee Shop (real name New York Grill) for breakfast. You know it's early when Jesus isn't even there yet. Just his two lovely sisters, Daisy and Leslie. I got a healthy breakfast that would no be too filling. A bowl of grits with milk and sugar, Snapple Iced Tea, and three eggs sunnyside up, with corned beef hash and fried tomatoes. Whole wheat toast with butter and grape jelly. After filling up and downing another big glass of ice water I headed back to the house and got myself in order. Money, wallet, quarters, cell phone and keys. Got an extra T-shirt because I'm sure I'll sweat thru the first one and don't want to be cold in the air conditioned theatre.

I hadn't used my bike in several weeks so the tires were a bit mushy. Rode around the block to Sunoco and pumped $.50 in the machine to get what used to be free air. My tires are like rocks now and I'm about to ride off, when I run into another friend named Paul. This guy works for Airborne or DHL and has the same route for them that I have for the Post Office. He lives across the street from me and told me I should ride my bike to work and save money on gas. I said I would if I could somehow carry my cooler. He said there's these great racks you can attach to the bike that can hold a whole mess of stuff and then use a bungee cord to keep it on with. Good idea for the future. But before I start thinking of 36 mile round trips, let's see how this 14.6 mile round trip goes.

I leave the Sunoco at 9:05 and head out on Myrtle Avenue and go down to Central, that connects to Cooper and then take that to Woodhaven Blvd. Most of the ride has been flat so far and there was a good 5 blocks there where I coasted. Cooper across Woodhaven becomes Yellowstone Blvd. which I call Jellystone, like Cooper this road is virtually empty at this hour on a Sunday. If it was Saturday it would be crowded with Jews going to the synagogue, but now I only see a few people going to stores for breakfast food. I get to Queens Blvd. and my first big test arrives. When I was 13, my friedn Slawik and I once rode our bicycles to Queens Blvd and Grand Avenue, I got scared and came back home. It was hot, I was not in shape for that kind of ride and I had my old one-speed bike and was not able to make that kind of long journey on it. We were supposed to go to Flushing Meadows, but that might as well have been Guam for all the riding I'd done before that.

But I waited for the light and crossed Queens Blvd. with no problem and as I came to the other side Jellystone became Jewel. I asked a girl on the corner what time it was. Thinking it must be close to 9:45 by now, she says, 9:17. 9:17, I've been riding all this way, and only 12 minutes has gone by. Amazing. Jewel starts off hard with a steep hill, I mean it is Forest Hills, but then has a 5 block down hill that I coast down. I'm trying not to use my brakes too much because I don't want to have to replace them, but I don't want to go too fast in case I have to stop short. I'm not experienced enough yet that I can avoid flying over the handlebars and hurting myself. Okay, now the biggest challenge of all, the overpass over the Van Wyck and Grand Central. As I've gained experience and confidence I've learned to just be aware of your surroundings, but show the drivers that you are a vehicle, too. Ride like you have a purpose and they will go around you.

Now I am officially passed Flushing Meadows Park and I've conquered a new outpost. I head up Jewel in Flushing and even though I've driven my car on this road 100 times, it feels new going on a bike. The lawns are kept well and the shrubbery is all manicured. The bike lane is a nice diversion as if there was an invisible wall between me and the drivers, but the road is much smoother than on my side of Queens. First Main Street, then Kissena, then Parsons. Names I've passed hundreds of times are now seeing me on a bike. Woo-hoo!! When I get past Parsons Blvd. the neighborhood really starts to turn nice. I had friends from Flushing when I was a kid, and they always made Flushing sound so nice, now I can see what they were talking about. Like really great Long Island neighborhoods but with city taxes--the best of both worlds.

I turn left on Utopia Parkway and now I can smell victory in the air. I see the firehouse that I saw a drunken Irish fireman stumble into one St. Patrick's night and I know I'm close. I turn right on 64th Avenue and pull into the CVS parking lot, I come out on 188th Street and ride across to the Fresh Meadows Cineplex Movie Theatre. Am I on time? It's 9:45. A cool 40 Minutes from almost door to door. I ask the movie ticket kid if I can chain it up inside and he says there's no place to lock it to. So there's an abandoned diner next door, called the The Future Diner, an ironic name, since it's long in the past. It was notable because when it first opened back in '91 or '92, Bill Clinton stopped in there for lunch on his way to winning the White House. I think they stayed in business about as long as Clinton was president. Shame, they had great burgers.

But right now they had a property that was completely surrounded by five-foot high green iron fencing. I picked my bike up and placed it over the fence. I hid the front part, which definitely looks nicer, behind a brick wall and chained the back to the green fence. When I got inside, I checked again with the ticket tearing girl to see if there was a place I could chain it inside and she said, no, but assured me it should be safe outside. I went inside grabbed a large Cherry Coke and peanut M&Ms and went to the bathroom before heading to my seat. I was not at all tired. I had breathed hard a coupla times, but the cool breeze in my face quickly brought my breath back. Now that I was inside the sweats started so I changed my shirt.

I settled into my seat. There were 5 other customers for this 10AM show of Pineapple Express. We all laughed robustly and I have to say the movie was very enjoyable. Cheech and Chong Meets True Romance. (For more on the movie, see review tomorrow in Freddy Love's Oasis of Real Film Reviews ). When I left the theatre, the clouds started rolling in a little more. The time was 12:07 and my bike was still where I left it. I headed home and realized that my trip there was mostly downhill, so now I would be doing less coasting and more pedaling on the way back. No biggie, in this direction there was no rush, so I got home at 1:05. I was probably tired too going this way, but here it is 9 hours later and I feel fine. Actually, I'm kind of proud of my accomplishment and wanted to shout it out.

Among other adventures that I want to try, my next door neighbor used to ride her bike to Rockaway Beach when we were kids, I'd like to try that one day. I'll let you know if I'm real sore tomorrow.

The Freditor